I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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