new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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