I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
