Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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