i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
