Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
