trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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