Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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