I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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