So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
