I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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