Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
