Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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