the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
