i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm both gender and math confused
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
