Apparently you make a good broom.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
