I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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