i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
