Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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