I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
