I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
operation have a gay friend backfired
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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