SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
