none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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