Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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