What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
