Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
