what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Randomize
