What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
