I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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