At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
