oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
