You smell like a Billy Joel song
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
