The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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