New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
