You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
