Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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