just come out here and I will go home with you...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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