I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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