hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
