Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
