Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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