Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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