I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Panties = found
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
