Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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