And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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