Non-Jews are for practice
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
