We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
