Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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