Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
