I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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