its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize