I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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