i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
