That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
