3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
