I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
