I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
