my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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