Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We need to get me chipped asap
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
