and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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