I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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