i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
