I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
