My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
