I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
