in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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