News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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