i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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