I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
