In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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