who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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