help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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